Your Imposter Syndrome Is Lying to You. Here’s How to Break Free

Show Notes

Is your imposter syndrome lying to you? Do you have it? Do you know? If you do, how do you break out of it? 70% of all adults have or have had imposter syndrome, and the numbers are high for women, according to Psychology Today.

Understanding Imposter Syndrome

So most of us have had it or do have it and some still struggle with it. So what is it and how do we stop it? So basically, it’s that inadequate feeling. It’s that worrying about getting the tap on the shoulder and somebody is going to expose you. You are going to be outed as a fraud. And for coaches, it can be really strong because we don’t know all the answers.

And not knowing all the answers can be a real problem for somebody. But that is actually part of coaching because our clients are capable. They are the answers. They have their own answers. They just don’t know it. And our job is to help them find it. So not knowing all the answers, not knowing exactly what’s going to happen in a coaching situation, can bring up those anxieties and can bring up that feeling of not quite being enough, of not having enough skills, of needing to go and get some more qualifications, or just fear.

Be Self Aware

Remember that fear is false evidence appearing real, but yes, it’s real. We create it. We create that sense of fear in our body. And quite often it can be paralyzing. So we need to really be aware of that self talk, that anxiety that’s coming up because we don’t know exactly what’s going to happen. But that’s okay. That is all part of coaching.

And it is something that we can do and we can deal with. So the thing is that you need the self-awareness to start with. You need to realise that you are doing it.

Believe In Yourself

What are the things that you do that you may not be realising could be your imposter syndrome? Well, you might not be doing any marketing. You might not be putting yourself out there. You might not want to take those opportunities that are coming. Oh, I’m not good enough. I haven’t quite got the right qualifications. A lot of us can let the opportunity pass by thinking that we are not that good anyway. We do hold ourselves back because we are worried that we don’t have all the qualifications or we don’t have everything quite right.

And sometimes that’s actually our secret power. Not having quite everything and not having some of those things that might be bad habits or just would lead us down one path or another. So that’s one of the things that a lot of people do is they hold themselves back. They don’t put themselves forward for opportunities when they’re more than capable.

Put Yourself Out There

A lot of us think that we are not capable but if you only give it a chance, you can do amazing things. And a lot of us are. But we are just worried about what other people might think. And other people generally don’t think anything at all because they’re busy worrying about their own fears. So making sure that you were putting yourself out there is a great way to stop that imposter syndrome.

Perfection is never going to happen, and you are not going to be able to get even close unless you start getting out there. So making sure that you are out there. SBT Episode 272 was all about why people succeed, so that’s a great one to give you some tips on, some things to move forward with and quality over quantity.

Embrace Your Worth

Make sure that you take those wonderful lot of opportunities when presented. So letting our coaching skills kick in and sometimes we need to coach ourselves. Don’t wait. Because self awareness is definitely the first thing that we’re going to notice to be able to deal with it. So it could be the marketing, it could be charging, it could be that you are doing a lot of free work because you’re worried that people won’t pay for it?

Or you starting off way too low? Basically, when you can get 2 or 3 clients to pay a certain amount, you should put it up by the time you have got five. You should definitely have put it out. And if you can just keep increasing that little by little, then sometimes that will make you feel better.

And if you’ve got a full roster, you definitely should put it up. And it’s coaches quite often. We don’t want to be charging a lot, but look at all the good things that we can do in the world

Price Your Value

Basically, once your fixed costs and your variable costs intersect into like a triangle, if you will, everything on top of that makes it so much easier. So the more clients you get after that, the more income you get. Then you don’t have to work as hard for it because you’ve got that breakeven point. And that’s where the magic happens. And that’s when you can afford to do those scholarships. Or you can afford to give to charities, or you can afford to sponsor people doing different things.

But if you’re struggling to feed yourself, then you can’t do any of those wonderful things that you want to do so please, please do charge properly and charge what you are worth. And yes, sometimes you have to build up to it. You can’t get that right off the bat, but it doesn’t mean that you won’t get it at all.

So make sure that you are charging and you are charging properly. And then once you do that, you can then give pro-bono, or you can even give full courses to people. Just be a bit careful of giving full courses to people, because quite often free doesn’t mean a lot. So if you gift somebody something quite often, then the uptake of that won’t be nearly as much as if they’ve had to pay for it.

Own Your Power

Self-doubt is another thing that crops up in even when people are giving us great compliments. They are telling us we are doing a wonderful job and we are just brushing it off. So be aware of that. If people are coming and telling you how great a coach you are, what amazing things you’ve done for them and you brush it off, just stop yourself for a second.Catch that awareness because that can be another way that the imposter syndrome can, show up.

Stop Comparing

Comparing yourself to others, especially to people that are further along or in our cohort can also be a way for imposter syndrome to creep in. So you might have been studying with somebody who’s now doing amazing things. You don’t know what they’ve got on going on in the background. They may have been able to do a joint venture partnership with somebody that’s just made it fly.

They may have been leveraging contacts that they had from before, or they may have just been lucky and worked damn hard. What doesn’t matter what it is, that’s their situation. So you need to concentrate on your situation and not compare yourself to them.

But generally, if you are working hard and you are working in the right direction, comparisons are not going to help you. So just stop that. Be excited and grateful for them having a wonderful business and making sure that you’re celebrating with them. But don’t get into that despair and compare but rather,reflect on how far you’ve come.

Set Boundaries

So looking at boundaries, making sure that you’re getting good self care and sleep. Sleep is something that people often overlook. We need to make sure that we are getting plenty of sleep so the old hustle days are truly over. So don’t be caught up in that. Just do what you can with the hours.

You can obviously be focused and don’t spend hours doomscrolling when you are pretending that you are working, but making sure that you are getting plenty of rest and plenty of sleep.

Celebrate Small Wins

Progress is Progress. Celebrate those little wins. Look back. Because sometimes we are so busy in the journey, so busy pushing forward, that we forget that we have come so far and celebrate the wins of your clients as well. And they might only be small things, but as we know, lots of little drops is how we make an ocean. So making sure that you are celebrating. Focus on moving forward and celebrating when you do get those small wins.

Transform Your Thinking

What negative things can you get rid of and reframing? I’m not a great coach. Well, I am coach. I’m a wonderful coach. If that’s too big a cap, then go back to I am a coach. I am a coach that helps and build on from there. So work out those things that you can create to bolster your own self-confidence, because you’ve got this. And sometimes it is a case of just literally taking a leap. We know that you can’t jump the Grand Canyon in lots of little steps. You take one big step, but you make sure your preparation is there.

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