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Show Notes
Welcome to Small Business Talk for coaches episode 347. Happy international coaching week. When I’m recording this it is International Coaching Week. So you should be celebrating whether you are an ICF coach, an accredited coach or whatever kind of coach you are.
We are all coaches and we all should celebrate international coaching week. So whether it is going for a walk, whether it is just taking a cup of tea and sitting and actually drinking it while it’s hot and maybe a little bit of sunshine, then just have a little bit of a celebration about the fact that you are a coach and the amazing things that you do for your clients.
So let’s have a chat about International Coaching Week and let’s chat about being a coach.
What Does It Mean to Be a Coach?
Being a coach often means spending a lot of time supporting others, which can sometimes lead to forgetting your own well being.
Are you looking after yourself? I talk about it on the podcast all the time, making sure that you are looking after yourself. Because if you are not looking after yourself, it is very difficult to be able to look after everybody else.
We were also talking about Profit First, which is a book by Mike Michalowicz. The idea behind that is that you take your profit first and then you distribute it. And it’s the same kind of idea as the airlines have, isn’t it? You must put the oxygen mask on you before you can help everybody else.
Unfortunately, we get this idea that and particularly for women, that we should be giving to everybody before we give it to ourselves. But if we don’t give to ourselves first, there won’t be anybody to be able to give to everybody else.
So coaches can get into that trap of putting out all the energy and forgetting to look after themselves.
The Value of Coaching
Who needs a coach? Well, in my opinion, everybody. But it’s really important for you as a coach to have a coach and yes, I’m a huge advocate of paid coaching, but sometimes that’s not possible. So things like peer coaching can be an amazing way to do it.
So the ICF has reciprocal coaching. You pay a small amount and you coach somebody and then somebody else coaches you.
It’s a great way to expand your knowledge, sometimes get some practice as well if you need to, particularly if you are doing a new certification or something that’s a little bit different.
But it’s also a good way to get that rubbish out that’s between your head that you need to get at as well, because quite often it’s a small little thing and we make it to be so big because we really don’t realize how big it is.
Myths About Coaching
1. You only need a coach when you are struggling.
One of the biggest myths you hear about coaching is that you don’t need a coach unless you’re struggling.
Well, the people making all the money, they all have coaches. Sporting athletes have multiple coaches. They have sports coaches, but they quite often have mindset coaches as well. It’s not just about the skill, it’s about how you think about the skill.
So it’s not just for people that are struggling, and the ones that are not struggling generally it is because they have the support and they have many coaches.
2. Coaches tell you what to do.
Another thing that I hear a lot is coaches will tell me what to do. Well, majority of coaches actually don’t.
When you think about pure coaching, it is not about telling you what to do. It’s about asking those powerful questions and letting the client come to their own answers.
3. Coaching, mentoring and consulting are the same.
Sometimes there is a place for telling, and then that is not coaching, is it? That could be mentoring, it could be consultancy. It could be some other form. And yes, they can all work together, but not in the one relationship and definitely not in the one session.
So it can be a case of having multiple services. So a coaching service and a mentoring service. But I’m not a fan of switching hats. I’ve heard people say I’m just going to put my mentoring hat on there. That in my opinion means that the person is lacking the chance to be able to find out the answers for themselves.
And particularly if you jump in really quickly to say hey, I know the answer to that. I’ve had multiple occasions where I’ve really wanted to and haven’t, and then the client has come up with something that I would never have thought about.
Sometimes they do end up with where I would have sent them, but that’s not coaching. Coaching is about helping to empower them.
The Power of Listening and Holding Space
Another thing that coaching is really good for is listening and holding space, not just listening so that you can have your turn.
As a coach, we know that it’s really important to be heard. And sometimes for some of our clients, this is the only space that they get to be heard.
So it’s powerful. And sometimes that’s all you need to do, is sit and listen to them and allow them to vent and allow them to put the things out into the air and hear it back through their ears, not necessarily through their heads.
And that can make such a huge difference. So don’t ever think that you’re not making a difference because you’re just listening to somebody. Because that can be the most powerful thing for them.
Coaching Breaks the Cycle of Overthinking
Coaching can help you to stop overthinking as a client. Quite often we will have those spinning little loops running round and round and round and we forget that we can actually stop that. It is a thought. We do have a choice.
But when a coach says is that a useful thought? And I’ve actually done a podcast called Is That a Useful Thought? So go back and check that. I think it was in the 200s.
Because quite often it’s not a useful thought, is it? And they can be sneaky. They can be just little things like oh, nobody in my family makes money. And you think well, that just sounds like the news, but it doesn’t have to be.
There are lots of sneaky little ones that sort of get stuck, aren’t they? Oh, you can’t possibly do that. You’ve never done it before. Well, you’ve never walked before right? You never ridden a bicycle before. You never driven a car before.
And if we had said no to all of those things, it would probably be a pretty miserable adult life. So there’s quite often a lot of things that we can do that we’ve never done before. And sometimes we just need to have those training wheels on to allow us to do what it is we need today
Coaching Stops Procrastination
Often I see coaches waiting. They wait for the right moment, they wait for more certifications, they wait for more qualifications, they wait until their social media is ready to go, they wait for their website, they wait for lots of things.
And sometimes that is just procrastination, isn’t it? It’s something that we really need not to wait for. We just need to go out and do it.
So as a coach, please remember not to sit there spinning your wheels and overthinking because quite often that’s not going to help you and it’s definitely not going to get you where you need to go.
Yes, you need to process your emotions, but just sitting there going over and over and over until that tiny little thing becomes so huge you can’t jump over it. That’s definitely when you need to talk to your coach.
Coaching as Safe Space and Clarity
Quite often, it’s not necessarily about fixing it, it’s just about learning another way to think about the problem. And that is an amazing thing where coaching can come in.
It’s about creating a safe space for your clients so that they feel that they’ve got the opportunity to vent, to talk, to speak about things that they may not have spoken about to anybody else.
And it is about asking those powerful questions and getting those thought processes going and helping our clients to answer and unstick those little sticky things and find their own answers. That’s what it’s all about, isn’t it?
Coaching Reflection
So you might want to ask yourself this week, what is it that you are avoiding that you should be doing? Where are you playing small? What would happen if I trusted myself a little bit more? What support do I actually need and where can I get it?
Something to think about and to reflect on maybe this week in International Coaching Week is what is the one thing I’m putting off and what would change if I didn’t put that off?
One of the exercises I really love to do is to go to my future self. So fast forward 12 months and everything is perfect. All your dreams have worked out. It’s amazing.
You’re now that person who is making the $100,000, the million dollars, the $10 million, whatever it happens to be, has given up your other part time gig and is working in coaching full time or whatever your dream is.
What would that version of you be telling you if they were looking back at you today, telling you it’s all going to work out and maybe you shouldn’t be sitting there spinning anymore?
Maybe you don’t need 10 different social media posts. 5 will do. Maybe you actually need to go out and talk to some real people.
What is it that your future self would be doing? That might be an exercise for you.
Links
Contacts
What Does it Mean To Be a Coach?
Coaches are not there to fix broken things. They are there to help unlock the potential. You can do this. You are doing this. So let somebody do it for you as well.
So have an amazing week. Celebrate International Coaching Week. And if you are listening to this at a different time then celebrate being a coach because you’ve got this, you are amazing.
Listen to the full episode of Small Business Talk episode 347.
You can also find the video versions of the Small Business Talk Episodes on YouTube.
