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None of us want to feel rejected. We don’t want people to say no to us, especially when we’re selling coaching and one on one coaching, because we often feel that that’s a personal rejection. It’s they don’t like us. They don’t want to work with us. It’s all about us. But as we know as coaches, it’s very rarely about us.
Handling Rejection
So, how to handle rejection better? Now, one of the books that I’ve been reading of like, well, rating’s a bit of a term these days, isn’t it? Most of the books that I actually read inverted commas I listen to, particularly when I’m in the car. So one of the books I’ve been listening to is Go For No by Andrea Waltz and Richard Fenton. And the premise of that is that you try to get as many no’s as possible, because when you get those nos, you’re going to learn what your customers like. You’re going to learn what you need to tweak and change, but you’re also going to get so many yeses. But if you just go for yes, then quite often you don’t get that learning and you’re not able to modify your pitch, work on your products, and make it so much better for your clients.
So Go For No is a great book, and it’s one of those ones where you listen a few times or you read it and then you go back and you take in more because it really is such a makes such a difference. So when we’re thinking about selling with what often don’t like selling or don’t want to sell because of the fact that somebody might say no.
Accept The No’s
There are so many reasons why people say no. And sometimes yes, it is that you didn’t do a good enough job of explaining the value and showing them how it can work for them. Sometimes it’s a case of they don’t believe that they can actually get the results. So you’ve maybe you didn’t overcome their objections or you didn’t even ask for objections.
If they said, no, everything’s fine. So by having that fear of rejection, sometimes we don’t serve our clients as well as we could or certainly our prospects that could become clients. What is it that you’re not doing in that space that potentially would be much better? Asking that difficult question, pushing just that little bit further if that’s appropriate, and thinking about that.
Overcoming Rejection
So there’s lots of different books and resources that, are around about rejection. And one of them is judging someone where he went for 100 rejections. He didn’t like being rejected. It felt deeply personal. So he just kept going and went out. And there’s a fantastic TedTalk that he does about being rejection proof, as well as a book.
And his journey on how to overcome that fear of rejection. Sometimes the way to overcome it is to be really confident about what you’re selling. So if you are selling yourself, are you 100% confident that you can deliver great results? Is it easier to bring in case studies and let people know how you’ve already delivered results? And then that way you’re just explaining what happened, telling the story.
And that can be an easier way for you to get over that fear of rejection. And remember, they’re not rejecting you per se. Both. Very few. It’s not the right time. Maybe they don’t have the money. Maybe it’s UPS objections that you didn’t push. Maybe it’s just something that didn’t really want to kind of press the button to have that consultation just because it felt interesting or looked interesting.
But when they got there, they realized that maybe that wasn’t the service that they’re actually looking for. So there’s 101 reasons why people say no. You know yourself when you’re buying things. Sometimes you just go and have a little sticky back, have a little look, and you’re not really that committed. Other times you say no when you should have said yes.
Be Confident
So just because somebody said no doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s personally rejecting you. And if they act, then it’s probably their problem, not yours. And what you really want to work with somebody like that. So making sure that you’re confident in what you’re selling and think of yourself as a product. Does that make it easier? I know when I’m selling because I’ve spent so many years selling other people’s products, services in my other business, my web design business, that I find it easier to package up Cathy Smith coaching as a product and think about it as a product. So that sometimes can take that just one layer out and make it much, much easier.
Think About Your Why’s
Another way to reframe it is to think about the why. Why do you want to do it? So focusing on that big picture, remembering your why. And of course, Simon Sinek is the one for the reason why. He also has some great Ted talks and some other resources on reframing and getting your mindset in the correct way. But if you’ve got that bigger picture, if you really want to reach high, espouse, have financial freedom for your children.
Give up your corporate job. Whatever it happens to be. Think about that big picture. And if one person says no, you will, you get that big picture. How about ten people? 20 people? 100 people. Go out there and have a go. And remember, it’s not personally about you. The more no’s you can get, the more yeses you can get them all you can learn.
And then it gets to a stage where you won’t get any no’s. You’ll be moving on to group and not doing those personal consultations anymore. You’ll be having people just opting in. But that doesn’t happen overnight, does it? And you have to start at the ground up. So you have to start with getting those no’s and making sure that you are getting it sold.
Take No’s Positively
Another thing to think about is the psychology of knowing and remembering that there’s all sorts of different reasons behind that. And also, how are you taking it? Your psychology. How are you thinking about it? Now, the psychology of Nobel, part of it is if you’re not getting no’s, if you’re only ever getting yeses. Are you teaching? Are you not offering the correct pricing for the value that you’ve got?
Are you paying in the wrong pool? Are you always getting people that are going to say yes and then maybe not get the results? So thinking about all of those kind of things as well. So there’s more than just being a little hurt and a little sad when somebody says no. There’s lots of business tips and tricks that you can learn from those no’s.
So sometimes we just have to toughen up a little bit and it can be really hard. So thinking about those mindset tools that you can use, how can you reframe it. If you’ve got one know and 100 yeses, which one do we concentrate on? We always concentrate generally on the negative don’t we. So how can we reframe that and look at all those amazing people that have said yes.
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Overcoming the Fear of Rejection
Having a no and being rejected is all part of business. It’s all part of selling and it’s what we all need to go through. Sometimes it’s not overly pleasant, but that’s what we signed up for, isn’t it? The key here is to change your mindset. If you have negative thoughts when you get a No, scrunch it up. Throw it out. Maybe burn it, shred it. Always look after yourself. Exercise, eat properly, do those sorts of things can really help your mindset and can help us bounce back when somebody says no.
Listen to the full episode of Small Business Talk episode 270.
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