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Who do you want to be? That is a question that we should all be asking ourselves. Had a funny thing happen this week. A mistaken identity. Fortunately, it was not the sinister type. But back to the question: who do you want to be? Not just your name, not just your title, not just your Instagram bio. Who do you want to feel like when you go out into the world? What confidence are you going to bring with you? Is it like a jacket that you put on?
Practice Confidence
What do you say? “I’m learning to be a coach.” “I’m a baby coach.” “I’m trying to be a coach.” Or do you say, “I’m a coach. I’m a business coach for coaches. I help you create a thriving business”? You need to get confident in what you say and how you say it. Practice really does make perfect.
Start by practising in the mirror. Practise with people who are friendly towards you. Sometimes that is not your family or close friends. Sometimes it means getting out to networking events where people do not know you. They do not have any preconceived ideas about who you are or what you do.
You just walk in and say, “I’m a coach. I’m a life coach. A wellness coach. A business coach.” Whatever you choose. Or just say, “I’m a coach” to begin with, and build from there.
Often it is easier to do this with people who do not know your background. They only see the version of you that you present, the confidence that you bring. If you are trying to get clients and of course you are if you want a thriving business then you have to project confidence. No one wants help from a coach who is uncertain or from a “baby coach.” Or from someone “trying to be a coach.”
Yes, you can do beta testing and all of that, but to be paid and paid well, you need confidence. Build it step by step.
Act As If
“I am a coach.” Put that on. Act as if. Start with one thing, then the next. Maybe you have a favourite jacket you wear each time. Maybe a favourite shirt. Or a token. It could be your qualifications. I was really excited when the badge from the International Coaching Federation came. I can put that badge on, and it immediately signals that I am a coach.
If you do not have something like that yet, make your own version. A little brooch. A note in your pocket. Something private. Just for you. When you wear it or hold it, it reminds you: I am a coach.
Years ago, when I worked part-time while my daughter was at school, I always wore the same work uniform. If I was in uniform, the other mums at school would say, “Cathy, are you working today?” And I would say yes. If I turned up in casual clothes, they would ask me to come for coffee. Which was lovely but it cut into my workday.
In uniform, we would organise playdates after work hours. I would still have my catch up and cup of tea but my work time was respected. Sometimes it really is a case of acting as if. So start small. Is it a favourite pair of shoes? Whatever helps you embody “I am a coach” – use it.
Make it About Your Clients
Another tip: take the focus off yourself. Focus on the other person. People love talking about themselves. Especially in networking situations. At networking events, most people are not there to buy. They are there to sell. So if you are curious and interested in them, they might actually listen when it is your turn to speak.
A name can be powerful. But our thoughts shape our identity. If you are not confident saying “I am a coach,” then no one else will say it for you. If you want referrals, or you want people to book consults with you, you must say it with confidence.
Try different versions. Especially in networking environments. See what lands. Practise in front of the mirror. It might seem silly, but it really helps.
Visualise Your Future Self
Journaling helps. Try writing this down: The version of who I want to be – what do I want in three months, six months, twelve months? Visualise. You have clients. A thriving business. What advice would your future self give to you today? Probably: get going. Because if you do not start, you will never become that future version.
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Who Do I Want to Be?
Small steps will get you there. My mantra this year is “slow down to go fast.” Focus on one thing. Get it right. Then move to the next. Wear that coat. Build that confidence. It makes a huge difference. And stop playing small. You became a coach for a reason. To help people. So go out there and help them.
Listen to the full episode of Small Business Talk episode 303.
You can also find the video versions of the Small Business Talk Episodes on YouTube.
